Today my hoodie reads: Happy for my Mom

I find that i am alot like my mother. It's not a bad thing. I love my mother dearly and miss her with all my heart, but she was the heart and soul of the family. After she passed away, i hate to say it, but the family crumbled. I grew up thinking i had the best family (i love my family, dont get me wrong) but i thought that we were the closest, most loving family there was. "The Boisvert Maffia" as some joked.
We all did everything together. The whole family would join together at least once a week, even if it was just for a meal or a cookout. I thought of my cousins like sisters and knew everything about everybody. That was the way it was and thats how we liked it.
After my mom died, everything changed! The family fought. We had to "pick sides" because certian parts of the family didn't get along with the other parts. There were yelling matches and screaming and crying. There were times when we didn't speak to eachother. And now, almost 6 years later, things seem much better than they were, they aren't and i don't believe will ever be, the same. We get together on holidays and birthdays and such, but we don't all just show up at eachother's houses for a lasagna dinner, for example.
So, after all these years, i reliazed that my mother was constatly putting out the fires. She was the "go-to" women when there was a problem. No matter what it was, she fixed it.... with the whole family! She made it so life seemed perfect and after she died, there wasn't that person to make the world go round. And sadly, we all relized how un-perfect a family we really were.

Now i am by no means saying we are a bad family. We are still filled with tons of love. We are like every family though. We have our flaws and our fights. But being a family that never really delt with it before, it seemed like the world came crashing down.

A women brought to my attention (and it wasn't the first time i'd heard it) that it seems like i have taken my mother's roll. I am the one people call now when there is a problem. I am the one they call when they need something. It's fine. I love to help.
i don't believe i have fully taken on her roll though. She did so much more than i even think of doing. My mother raised and loved 6 children and that didn't include the hundreds of friends that came in and out of the house through the years, that eventually all became like family. My mother accepted everyone and if they needed a home to stay or a meal to eat, you got it!
My mother also was the care taker for all. She was at my granparent's home everyday, making them happy and doing what needed to be done there.
She worked a full time job. Something i only do half the year.
She cooked. Something i never do!
She watched who ever's kids needed to be watched for the evening.
She still made time for my dad. A very important thing for a successful marriage. They made saturdays their day!

She did many more things... things that i probally dont know the half of. All and all, my mother was like a super hero. People can say that i am alot like her, but when it comes down to it, i don't do half of what she did.
This month celebrates 6 years that she has had time to her self with out having to worry about the problems or the pain she went through. This month celebrates 6 years that she has been able to dance in Heaven with Jesus. This month has always been a month that i hate, but with writing this blog, it's opened my eyes that this should be a month that i love. This month celebrates my mother being free.


I love you Ma. I hope you are happy in Heaven with Jesus. Save a spot for me and help me with the walk through life. I can only pray to be half the women you were. I love you and miss you terribly.
Today my hoodie reads: Happy for my Mom