Today my hoodie reads :Thankful for my Lord Jesus Christ!

So... i decided that i need to stop with my ho-hum additude. Nobody wants to listen to me whine and thinking about how depressed i am does nothing but make things worse. so, i am declairing today that i am happy!
I love my Lord Jesus Christ and to sit here and be blah blah blah-ing does not show that being a christian women is a great experience. I have been through several things in my life that lead me to be a little depressed here and there, but no matter what, I love God and i thank Him for helping me through it all. I thank Him in several ways, and if anybody out there reads this, maybe it can inspire you to do the same or something like it.

I thank God everytime i pray. For the things i DO have and try not to dwell on what i don't.
I tithe weekly 10% of our income. (and the weeks that we don't, we still keep track of what we do owe the Lord. We're by no means perfect and don't always tithe. We are still working on our trust. And trying to learn to put our full trust in Jesus)
I did this a couple years ago and am not sure why exactly i stopped. But i started doing it agian a couple weeks ago. I fast (give up) something for a week. This week it is chocolate. Last week it was coffee (which was a very hard one for me) and the week before it was soda. Next week will be chips (including crackers and popcorn and such). I am not always perfect at this. I have messed up a couple times this week, not relizing it until after the fact. So, i believe the Lord will forgive me, because it's not like i am eating the chocolate with it on my mind that i shouldn't. On day one (sunday) i ate a peanut butter cup and quickly relized i done wrong and didn't continue to eat the other 2 i had grabbed. 2 days ago, i took a small bite of my sister's chocolate chip pancake and then figured out i done wrong a couple hours later. Then yesterday i had hot chocolate mixed with coffee.
So, as you can see, i messed up quite a bit this week. But i am sorry and will try harder.

I try to listen to what the Lord wants from me. I gave alcohol up for a year, the whole time thinking it would be a forever thing. I was by no means an alcoholic or drank a lot. But i did love wine. I loved everything about it. Learning about it and trying differant ones. It was a passion. I learned that i should of been putting those passionate feelings towards Jesus and the Bible, rather than something that some see as a sin. I don't believe drinking is a sin, but i believe if you drink to get drunk, that is a sin. You are to treat your body as a temple and drinking to get drunk is doing the opposite. A little while ago, i felt i got the okay from Him to drink agian. But i will try with my hardest to not forget the lesson i learned.

*Sigh* so, when i comes down to it. Today i am happy that i have a Savior that loves me enough to give His life for me and take all the pain and punishment for my sins. So, i am putting a smile on my face and forgetting why i was upset. I can't be angry that i haven't gotten pregnant, i have a beautiful daughter and a wonderful son. There are people in the world that don't have that. So, i need to be thankful for what i do have.
My mother died almost 6 years ago. At least i knew she loved me and she was a wonderful mother for the 17 years i did have her. Some kids never get to have a loving mother or a mother at all. I need to be thankful for WHAT I DO/DID have.
My 12 year old neice has cancer. The outlook is that she will be okay. Thank the Lord! He could have taken her home to heaven. Also, she has a great love for Jesus and through this i believe she will touch many lives.
All and all i need to be thankful.

Today my hoodie reads :Thankful for my Lord Jesus Christ!

I've reliazed that my hoodie these days are filled with bordom!

My feet are cold. My belly aches. I seem antsy... but i don't know why. i just wish i could be calm, relaxed and happy. but it seems like latley i can't get there.
i guess i don't have a whole lot to write about. my life these days are pretty boring.
maybe later i will think of something else to complain about...

Emotional Cab Driver

Yesterday was a pretty bad day. I am not really sure why, but i think it had alot to do with nightmares i had the night before. i don't remember details but i know it had alot to do with my neice (who has cancer) and my mother (who passes away from cancer). I just felt like an emotional mess yesterday. That's alright. i am better today.
Today my hoodie reads, "nervous taxi cab driver." Not really a taxi cab driver, but i am bringing people differant places. I am bringing my neices back to their mother. Then i am bringing my son to meet his new baby sister at his biological mother's house. Why am i nervous? i don't really know my way around Bangor and dont know how to get to andruw's mom house.
Well, i have a headache and need a high dose of coffee to deal with the rest of the day!

An over veiw of what my hoodie reads;
emotional
driving around today
ignorant of bangor
in need of coffee!

This hoodies has a lot of kid's names on it!

It was def a long week. The majority of the week i wore a "daycare provider" hoodie. Watching anywhere from 6 to 9 kids, ranging in age from 1-4 (with the exception of my 9 year old son yesterday.). I tell ya, these kids poop ya out!
Today my hoodie reads "auntie" and will until monday. I have my two neices over. They are good kids. But i wasn't really expecting 2 more little ones for 2.5 days. Soo... i woke up at 7:30 and began cleaning. My house was a disaster after not being home all week to clean. I got the whole downstairs cleaned but upstairs is still kind of scary!
The girls are now here and are being lovely. They are my brother's kids, who is going through a divorce. And my bro is in NY taking a seeing eye dog course for a month! So, their mother dropped them off this morning and of course my heart broke. The younger one's hair wasn't brushed and when i brushed it, the grease was obviouse. I asked when the last time they took a bath was, and she told me, "last weekend at auntie's house." PAUSE... are you serious?! you are home alll week long and your mother doesn't make you wash or brush your teeth or your hair?! Then the older one was wearing tights with holes all through them. It just does not look like they are being cared for properly. And of course their father can't step in. His ex-wife won't even let him talk to the girls via phone all week. FAT BAG!
*sigh* i really shouldn't be so judgemental, but it breaks my heart to see my brother's kids not be cared for properly. So, in a little bit we are taking them up to walmart and buying them toothbrushes, boots and a pair of clothes. annnd... maybe a toy ;)

On a lighter note, i love my husband:)

My son's mother had another baby yesterday. A little girl. And named her the name that i was going to name my next daughter....
Then my friend is in the hospital, having her baby. A little girl.
My best friend is still pregnant and doing well.
I tried for a year to get pregnant with Luci. It's not as long as some people try and i thank the Lord that i finally did get pregnant and have a beautiful little girl.
I wouldn't mind having another baby. I guess the Big Guy upstairs will decide when the right time is... i just wish He would decide to have it happen soon. we've been trying for 4 months now with no luck. and now all this baby talk and pregnant people gets me blue. But like i said, i am thankful for what i have and shouldn't get myself worked up about it. God's will will be done <3

Okay, i am done complaining for now.

So, an over veiw:
My hoodie also reads;
Day care provider
Upset Auntie
In Love
Baby Blue
Thankful
complaining


Until next time!

Today my hoodie reads, "wishing to be skinny, but not trying overly hard."

So, my hubby and i are going on a cruise in about 2 months. A cruise! Western Carribean. I want to look HOT! i want to rock out sexy little sun dresses and look cute in a bathing suit. I want him to find me irrasistable! Only problem is... well... I am slightly chubby and well, i dont try too hard to change it. Most people would say then, "stop complainning if you're not willing to try." Mehh... you got a point. I get it.
              I do try though... in the summer time. But this is it. I need to look good for the cruise. Tonight i am going to work out with Molly. Yeah, i have to lie and say i am her lover to get in for free. But hey, we'll just add that to the list of who i am. lol. I also brought the kiddos swimming today. So there's more workout. Yayy. I might do this... Hmm... yeah. We'll see.

An Over veiw:
My Hoodie also says that i am...
chubby
going on a cruise
not motavated
not a good speller
a sister-in-law
"a lesbian lover"
a liar
trying not overly hard to loose weight.

Who wears my hoodie?

"You have a blog? What a loser!" The wonderful words of my husband. Yeah, I might be a loser, but i am okay with it. I want to share what it's like to live a day in my hoodie. No, i don't mean it in any sexual way. I mean it like, you hear "walk in my shoes" and blah blah blah. Well, i'm kind of known to wear a hoodie. Why not?

        Okay, My name is Renee. I am 23 years old. I am a mother. A wife. A daughter. A sister. A neice. A granddaughter. An auntie. A co-worker. A waitress. A christian. Head of women's ministries in my church. A pastor-to-be's wife. A home-owner. A car-owner.
        And this is only the start of who i am...
As we go day by day, wearing my hoodie, i hope you can learn or be helped or just be able to relate to what i hold on my shoulders and how i get by. I'm not saying a have a bad life. i actually have a lovely life. But like most people in this world, i go through trails and hard times.
     So... i guess this is it. Welcome to my journey of this thing called life!